Avatar the Last Airbender Talk Show
by This-is-Blasphemy
Summary: Aang and Zuko decide to make a talk show to appease their boredom, will the cameras ever receive a break? I own nothing, nothing at all Rated T for swearing, mild innuendo and I don't know any other ratings... Humor/parody
1. Fangirls and the Script

------Author's notes-----

if you haven't watched avatar the last airbender or any other show in this you should, I mean If I reference it, it must be good

~100% Dan Green approved :D~

Voices~

Aang~ high~pitched or girly if you prefer

Zuko~ any version of manly will do

Train~ a cooler version of the voice you choose for zuko

Appa~ anything you want as long as you follow what is written

Sokka~ slighty less cool version of the voice you have chosen for zuko

{when he complains about the life the universe and everything, complain about anything, good day}

Bakura~ any pitch you want along as it's british

Toph~ a slightly manlier version of sokka

The Moon~ explained in the dialogue

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Now Enjoy....if you dare dun dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnn

Now please enjoy your crappy anime cartoon, just kidding! or am i dun dunnnnnnn

no seriously enjoy

~warning~

this may involve pant wetting or loss of life reminder we are not responsible for any pet wetting or loss of life now enjoy...sersiously..go...get out of here...out of the creators sight...produce!

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~Avatar The Last Airbender Talk Show Episode 1, With Guest Appearances of Bakura and Train and Timmy's Dad~

Zuko and Aang enter the screen on Appa, As they are currently trying to gain the firebending powers of the dragons.

"I don't know why, but I thought this bison would go alot faster..." Zuko stated in that negative tone of voice of his.

"Well Zuko we usually start things off with a more upbeat attitude" Aang happily added his two cents on the matter.

Zuko mumbles to self.

Train jumps up and lands on Appa. "Hey Svenny-baby I though you said there was milk up here?!" Train looks around and notices Zuko and Aang. "Who are you guys?"

"rawr rawr rawr I don't like you rawr rawr rawr" Appa bluntly replied in way of recognition.

"Hmm Appa doesn't like you very much, and I usually listen to my friends so you must be a bad guy" Aang said, again, in that ridiculously happy high-pitched voice of his.

"What? but I'm not a bad guy!" Train said defensively.

"Well...if appa cleans you like he does to zuko then you are a good guy" Aang said, as if in deep thought.

"...So that's how you judged me..." Zuko said in reponse to Aang's previous comment.

"Well yeah actually, it took me awhile to realize that though, because I gave into peer pressure" Aang turns to the camera. "Don't give into peer pressure kids"

"Who are you talking to?" Zuko said, as if he clearly didn't know he was on T.V.

"Um You know the fans, who make the weird relationships like Azula and Ty lee... Me and You..."

"Oh....them...." Zuko said in a way that says I hate you.

Train decided it was time to say something. "Oh those fans, the ones who make the already weird and creepy relationship between me and creed, even worse...and weird?"

"Who are you?" Zuko said, finally realizing Train's presence.

"Hey that reminds me, you still need to answer my question..." Train said in response.

"Oh yeah, I'm Aang"

"Hello, Zuko here"

"Train Heartnet" Making his cat like grin. "To the fans wink wink I'm single ladies"

"So how did you get on the flying bison?" Zuko asked.

"That's easy, you never left the ground..." Train replied

"Oh..." Aang looks down. "I guess not..."

"Argh, why did I join you again?!" Zuko said, obviously frustrated.

"Because you...why did you join us?" Aang asked, obviously confused.

"Because....curse you Mike and Brian!" Zuko shouted.

"Hey this is a PG show!" Aang yelled in response.

"Then why do older kids watch our series?" Zuko asked.

"Uh..." Aang said.

"Why is the war and government conspiracy in the so called PG show?" Zuko asked.

"Uh I don't know! I'm just a 12 year old kid" Aang starts or continues whining, whatever you think is happening.

"Hey wait a minute your older that the tv rating get out of here!" Zuko yelled.

"But so are you! Whine!" Aang says in response.

"Tough Cookies! I'm the main character now! Henceforth! This show will be called Zorc and Pals!" Zuko proclaimed.

"Whine." Aang said.

"Hell to the no! Biatch!" Bakura appeared out of nowhere. "That's my show, I copyrighted it!" Bakura punches Zuko off the suddenly flying Appa, sending him flying into the ocean twenty thousand feet below. "There I'm the main character now!" Bakura laughs maniacally.

"But you only killed the new side kick, and there's like 14 million more, I'm still the main character..." Aang whispered, still loud enough for Bakura to hear though.

"Oh" Bakura walks away in uddder defeat.

Zuko gets back on the suddenly motionless Appa. "Man that's the third time that's happened to me...even Naruto tried to kill me...oh and Ichigo from Bleach..."

Sokka appears randomly next to Zuko. "Only three times? It happened to me 28 times!, most were by fangirls, and Sakura from Naruto, apparently saying she has small boobs is offensive or something...., but anyways **I'M **a player."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Your not even supposed to be in this episode!" Zuko says in anger.

"Oh I'm not. Am I?" Sokka takes out the script for said episode, "See check it"

"Damn you! You rewrote the script?!" Zuko yells in even more anger.

"Whoa! What happened to being PG?!" Aang says in horror.

"Blame Sokka! And we were originally supposed to be PG but after that government conspir~" Sokka interrupts Zuko.

"Actually I didn't do that....Katara got together with the rest of the girl~" Zuko interrupts Sokka.

"Even my sister?!"

"Surprisingly yes...apparently they are really good friends **OFF **screen and by really 'good friends' I mean 'have sex'...." Sokka turns to the camera. "And no fangirls, don't get any ideas, because it's happening as we speak...."

"Shock, cunfusion, teen angst, emo swimsuit edition!" .....Zuko is shocked...

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Aang takes a deep breath. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! My virgin ears!"

"...Can I kill my sister now?" Zuko asks, still shocked.

"Well actually Zuko, in the commercials for our new movie" Aang turns to the camera and says in a dramatic voice. "SOZIN'S COMET, THE FINAL BATTLE" Aang turns back to Zuko, and says in his normal high pitched voice. "It appears **YOU **are on the verge of death and not this so called sister of yours 'Azula'" Aang says in a matter of fact voice.

"Dammit!!! RAGE!!! Rage is all I have left!!!" Zuko takes script from Sokka. "Let me see that!!!!....Oh Damn..."

"What?" Aang asks.

"Mike and Brian contacted the fangirls..." Zuko says in a whispered tone.

"GASP!" Aang and Sokka say in unison.

"Those gasping mice are right son! you are way out of line!" Timmy's Dad randomly appeared very quickly, and as quickly as he came, he disappeared.

Everyone stares unblinkingly and wide-eyed at the space where Timmy's Dad appeared and disappeared for about ten minutes.

"Hey Guys shouldn't we continue the episode by now? The fans are getting tired of watching you stand around and do nothing..." Train points out.

"...Sure....we'll play your sick twisted game you sick twisted little 'cat man'" Everyone, minus Train, says in unison with big fake smiles on their faces.

"Just for that" Train steals the script and reads it. "I am so watching the show now...." Train says with an evil smile. He then proceeds to hop off Appa and walk off screen whistling.

Aang, Zuko, and Sokka look at each other. "Uhhhh what the beep just happened?"

Zuko upon realizing what happened in the last 20 minutes said. "God Dammit! He stole the script!"

"Shouldn't you stop swearing before the creators really kill you off?" Aang asked Zuko.

"Hey wait you swore to..." Zuko told Aang.

"Uhh no I didn't" Aang replied.

"Uh yeah yeah you did..." Zuko said.

"Uhh NO that must have been the other last airbender..."

Zuko takes a deep breath and says."What the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"TWENTY MINUTES LATER" The narrator from Spongebob Squarepants says.

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" Zuko takes a deep breath. "Emo phase complete" Zuko takes another long, deep breath. "How in the hell can there be 'the other' last airbender? when **you're** the 'last' airbender?"

"Whine" Aang says.

Sokka quietly slips off screen.

Zuko takes a deep breath. "Damn the creators, damn them to hell! Damn them and their floozies they call girlfriends! Damn them and their descendants! Damn damn damn rage damn daisies damn damn damn beavers damn Katara damn damn Zutara damn damn cleaning products damn damn grandma's cookies damn damn adolescent ninjas damn damn 4kids"

"ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES LATER" The narrator from Spongebob Squarepants says.

"AND DAMN DAN GREEN STRAIGHT TO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL! huff wheeze damn gasp wheeze damn sigh" Zuko finishes his multiple rants of nothing.

Aang has a look of shock on his face. "Ooookkkkaaaayy....I'll go get you help Zuko."

"I don't need your f***ing tween help!" Zuko yells.

"...I'll save you little buddy." Aang daringly says.

"Don't ever say that to my face again." Zuko says, preparing to go into another rant if he does.

"Why not little buddy?" Aang dares to say again.

"....Because" Zuko takes a deep breath.

"Meep" Aang says, realizing his mistake.

"F***ing beep beep beep on a beeping beep of a beeping sandwich with triston the dinosaur aka barney on top with beeping beep on top!...and your mama" Zuko says ending his rant.

"Is that so?" Aang says, yet again with a look of horror on his face.

Zuko takes a deep breath. "Yes"

"You hate me and my mom" Aang replies.

"Oh no, the fangirls are making me say this....so shut your face" Zuko says tartly, referring to Mike and Brian contacting the fangirls.

"But I love you!" Aang says.

"Oh hell no" Zuko puts duct tape on Aang's mouth.

Train comes back. "The creators asked me to fix the script...so it's 'normal' now..." Train smiles. "Now we can continue with the episode"

"Actually we can't because of a certain someone cough! Zuko! cough!, we ran out of time" Aang says.

"What in the hell happened to the duct tape?! And it's not entirely my fault!" Zuko says.

"Oh sweet naive Zuko, there is no quote unquote **'tape'** in Avatar the Last Airbender" Aang directs his attention to the fangirls and says in dramatic voice, "Trademark" Aang then turns to Zuko and says in regular voice. "Now this on the other hand" Aang takes out the video game. "Exists in Avatar the Last Airbender" Aang the says to fans in a dramatic voice. "Trademark" Then to Zuko in regular sing-song voice. "Buy it and play it noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!"

"Shock!... Okay... Now allow me to offer this as a rebuttal" He takes a deep long breath. "GO TO HELL AND ROT FOR ALL I CARE!" Zuko storms out.

"Well everybody we ran out of time, so remember I'm the hottest character in this show~" Aang interrupts Train.

Aang yells. "You're just a guest!"

"GOODNIGHT DETROIT I LOVE YOU!" Train completely ignored Aang, and disappeared in a puff of milk.

"....SHOCK! After thought: I hardly got any screen time.... I'm gonna go complain about it" Aang takes out machine gun, "MIKE! BRIAN! I'D LIKE A WORD WITH THE TWO OF YOU! and to offer some 'incentive', and by incentive I mean your lives, to bow down to my demands, say hello to my little friend, her name is Susan" Aang giggles girlishly, and pets "Susan", then walks offscreen.

Sokka shows up kissing Toph for no adequatly explained reason. "THIS IS FOR YOU FANGIRLS! GOODBYE VIRGINITY! AND GOODNIGHT OKINAWA!"

"You asshole we are apparently in Detroit!" Toph slaps Sokka. "You can lose your virginity some other day!" Toph walks off screen.

"Moon why did you betray me!" Sokka asks of the moon, when it is clearly daytime.

In a deep, gruff, manly voice the moon replies. "Because your an ass!" The Moon strikes him down with a bolt of lightning.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah This is quite painful" Said as if he is in no pain at all, then resumes screaming as if he is in extreme pain. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" Sokka continues screaming in this so called pain.

The animation budget runs out.

Fades to Black.

Black screen.

"Dammit! Am I doomed to burn for all eternity?!" Sokka shouts.

"YES!!" Every other cast member including Train and Sven shouts back to him.

"But why?!" Sokka asks in a whiny voice.

"Because...your a.... **'PLAYER'**,you couldn't just settle for the moon you had to set your sights on a twelve year old blind girl and every other whore you met on your adventures...well goodnight-"

Sokka is complaining about life the universe and everything in the background.

"-everybody, I'm surprisingly happy even though you can't see it I am smiling"Zuko walks away, disregarding sokka's protests to being doomed to eternal hellfire.

"Now to my girlfriend Ty- I mean Mai because that's my girlfriend's name Mai not Ty Lee because I don't even know why that thought crossed my mind, I want to have sex with Mai not Ty Lee, and definitely not both of them at the same time" Zuko pauses. "Yeah that would be the day...Both of them...Same time...Me...Who's the player now asshole?!" Zuko laughs maniacally.

**THE END?!**

"That would still be me, because at least I go after **girls**" Sokka responds as if nothing about the moon has even happened.

"Hey! Mai is a girl! In case you haven't noticed Ty Lee is all woman and so is Song and even that Jin kid...I think..." Zuko says as if unsure.

"Hah! At least I know that the girls I date are girls! Even the 12 year old...man that was the best time in bed yester- I mean..." Sokka says.

"Okay fine! Maybe I don't know about one of them..But the rest of them have girly parts!" Zuko shouts back.

"Jeez 'girly parts' Zuko? Jeez how old are we, five? At least I have the balls to call them boobs...jeez" Sokka laughs "'girly parts'"

"Shut up man! at least I have a mother!" Zuko replies in a desperated attempt at a comeback.

Aang pops up. "Ohhh Zuko...noooooo" Aang disappears.

"What?" Zuko asks, already dreading what he just said.

"You son of a bitch...At least we know what happened to **our** mother" Sokka and Katara say in unison.

"Yeah she's dead" Zuko says.

Train pops up. "Ohhh Zuko Noooo" Train disappears.

Zuko turns around. "What?"

Sokka and Katara say in unison "Bastard!" They charge at him.

Zuko turns around to see Katara and Sokka tackle him to the ground. "Holy Shit!"

Train and Aang pop up in the forground and it's implyed that animation returned....don't ask when because I don't know either...just go with it.

"WASN'T THIS A PG SHOW?!" Train yelled in a desperate attempt to drown out the noise in the background.

"..YEAH TIL AT LEAST EPISODE 37 OR SOMETHING...!" Aang is also doing the same thing.

"WELL EVERYONE I'M OFF TO WATCH MORE AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER!...I'M TRAIN HEARTNET...~" Train gets interrupted by Aang.

"AND I'M AANG THE LAST AIRBENDER, ALSO KNOWN AS THE AVATAR ALSO KNOWN AS THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS THE AVATAR ALSO KNOWN AS FERGIE AND ALSO KNO~!" Aang gets interrupted by Train.

"THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH OF THAT! ANYWAY SO LONG FROM WHEREEVER WE HAPPEN TO BE! SEE YA NEXT TIME ON THE TRAIN HEARTNET SHO~" Train once again gets interrupted by Aang

"UNDERPANTS!" Aang randomly shouts.

**NOW IT'S THE END**

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! SVENNY~BABY I WANT MY LAWYER! CLAIM SEXUAL ABUSE!" Train shouts as the screen fades to black once again.

....okay....**NOW** The Narrator looks around for any possible disturbance. It's the end.

Hurry get out of here before the episode gets dragged out even further! I beg you!...Although I do get paid by the word...So feel free to stay... The audience makes a chirp chirp sound.

Dammit...Oh thats another word oh that's another hundred! haha talking to myself and making money!

I'm making money all over the place!

The cameramen run in terror and the story finally comes to a conclusion...We shall all hope...

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If you got confused during any part of that most of the quotes and stuff came from abridged series on youtube and stuff like that....

and Train only thinks he owns this show... what a shock he'll receive next episode.....

Oh this story was not mean't to offend any one, espicially not Dan Green and Mike and Brian! I seriously love you guys!

And I'm a very sarcastic person, so If I made any of the characters look ridiculous it either means I don't like said character or I really like that character and can't help but make them act ridiculous....

I refuse to make another chapter til next week, because my editor made fun of my very being... just kidding just kidding, I love my editor.


	2. Cats and Swear Words

Avatar Talk Show episode 2

I do not own any of these characters.

Nor their shows

Guests- Edward Elfonse - FMA, Al - FMA

Voices same as before. As for the guests... use your imagination...

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"Hey there everybody! Welcome back to My Avatar The Last Airbender Talk Show!" Aang entered the screen through the right.

"Hey, don't you mean Our!" Zuko entered through the left.

"...Yeah you keep telling yourself that Zuko..." Aang said. "Anyways... sorry it took so long to make another episode..."

"Yeah... We had to postpone it, seeing as I was in the hospital for awhile..." Zuko said.

"Yep for seven days you should feel accomplished Zuko!" Aang slapped him on the back.

"...Only Katara and Sokka damaged the recording equipment, so we had to buy new ones..." Zuko is gradually getting angry again.

"...Uh...Zuko Your the one who threw the camera at Sokka's face..." Aang said nervously.

"...Shut it" Zuko angrily said.

"..And you also threw the other 6 or 7 cameras at them..." Aang stated.

"....Zuko out..." Zuko walked off screen.

"..If you leave then Sokka becomes second in command.." Aang called after Zuko.

Zuko stopped and turned around. "Zuko in..."

"Oh remember Zuko, no swearing" Aang told Zuko.

"Zuko out..." Zuko turned around again.

"Fine... I want you to stay because frankly Sokka isn't right for this job.... you can swear up to 10 times an episode..."

"30 and you got a deal"

"....35"

"Deal"

"Wait no!"

"Too late" Zuko says as he smirks.

"...Fine"

"Yes..." Zuko says.

"Oh Zuko?" Mai calls while entering from the left side.

"..Uh oh.." Zuko says.

"What?" Aang says back.

"When she says my name like that, it either means she mad at something or at me..."

"Zuko I just watched your previous episode and I have decided your an ass" Mai states.

"....Oh...Alright...?" Zuko has a look of confusion on his face.

"...But I still love you..." Mai kissed him then left the way she came.

"...Awww, I still can't get Katara to kiss me..." Aang looks all pouty.

"..Wait what episode are we on in the T.V. show?"

"...Um I think its after the invasion. I know that much..."

"Really now?"

"Yeah"

"Hmmm, I was aware that it was that one episode filler where we watch that play about us..." Zuko claims.

"No! I hate that episode!"

"Me too..."

"I was played by a girl..."

"And I by an idiot..."

"I thought you were played perfectly Zuko...."

"Shut it, Or I will leave"

"Alright!"

"Good..Now introduce the first guest!"

"Oh yeah, but before that I just have to say that we are going to be more organized then last time!"

"Fine fine, now bring in our first guest!"

"Alright Our first guest is Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist!"

"Hi Everybody It's me Ed"

"Where is he?" Zuko asks sarcastically.

"Um...Below you.." Aang whispers in Zuko's ear.

"What?" Zuko replies back.

"Oh keep in mind he doesn't like being called short" Aang whispers.

"What was that?"

"He doesn't like being called short..." Aang, again, whispers.

"What?, I can't hear you"

"He does not like being called short!" Aang yells.

"What?!!! I am not short!" Ed attacks Aang.

"Holy Beep!" Aang yells as he gets sent backwards and off screen.

"Just for the record I knew that!" Zuko yells after Aang.

"F-" Aang was cut off.

"Momentary commercial break" The narrator from Spongebob says.

"Wow... since when was that installed?" Zuko says, completely ignoring Aangs last comment.

"Well we're back guys, and Ed unfortunately was asked to leave by Susan...." Aang smiles, and giggles like a little girl. "Hehe Susan...My one true love..."

"Ooookay....Moving o-"

"What the hell?! Aang I thought I was your one true love?!" Katara stormed on screen and slapped Aang.

Zuko sighed.

"Just for that I gonna go out with Zuko!" Katara tried to hug Zuko.

"Hell No Biatch! After what happened last episode hell no! and also I already found my true love! Her name is Mai!" Zuko pushed Katara back towards Aang.

"Fine!" Katara stormed off screen.

"Wait! Katara!" Aang walked off screen.

"If you leave I become the Ist in command..." Zuko states.

"Fine I'm back..." Aang walked back.

"Alright Our second guest is Alphonse Elric...From the same show!" Zuko tried to smile just a little bit.

"Hello, I'm Al" Al waved.

"Holy Crapmonkeys!" Zuko said.  
"He's huge and thats three for Zuko." Aang decidede that he was going to count.

"Um so you guys didn't give me a script when you asked me to be on your show...." Al stated.

"That's because you don't need one!" Aang said happily.

"Really?" _Meow! _"Haha" Al nervously laughed.

"What was that?" Zuko asked.

"Noth-" _Meow Meow Meow! _"Oh boy..."

"...It sounds like you have a cat in there...." Aang said.

"No I don't" _**Meow Meow **__Mew Mew.. _"No I really don't"

"Yeah I really think you do..." Zuko replied back.

"No I really don't"

**Meow, meow meow meeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww mmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeoooooowwwwww.**

"Alright what's in there?!" Zuko yelled.

"Al! You better not have any cats in there!" Ed yelled, while running past the security guards.

"Wait I thought you said Susan asked him to leave..." Zuko asked.

"I did.... Susan roughly pushed him out the door, then she locked said door, causing Ed to be locked out..." Aang replied happily.

"Oh... then how'd he get back in?" Zuko asked.

"Same way he left, see?" Aang points to the giant hole, where a door used to be.

"I see.... ever occur to you that fan girls can get in now..." Zuko stated bluntly.

"No it did not..." Aang pulled out Susan. "Ed, Susan will kick you out again if you don't fix that hole!!"

"Alright! Jeez! I'm fixin the door!" Ed fixed the door.

"Now the problem at hand.... what is inside of Al?" Zuko said.

"Nothing is inside!" Al whined.

"Oh your hiding something Al! Open up!" Ed took off Al's head.

"No brother don't!" His head came off revealing the inner layers of Al.

"Holy Fishpaste on a mokeyfeathered covered sandwich!" They all said.

Al had filled the entire contents of himself with cats, and one very confused puppy.

All the cats jumped out of Al and started attacking everything.

"....Well this is all your fault Aang..." Zuko said, as Al and Ed collected cats.

"How?"

"By allowing you to pick both guests..."

"Oh, who picked last weeks?" Aang asked in a desperate attempt to change the topic.

"Nobody... The creator writes these scripts, so I'm very surprised she allowed you to pick these guests..."

"Oh right... I understand everything now!" Aang yelled in acknowledgement.

"Really? what's my middle name?" Zuko asked.

"...uh Bob.." Aang said unsurely.

"How did you know that?" Zuko asked.

"It is?"

"...No...it isn't..."

"Oh...Aang is now depressed..."

"I don't really care..." Zuko said truthfully.

"..Thanks Zuko.."

"Your welcome" Zuko replied. "Anyways, are you guys done cleaning up yet?"

No response.

"...Shit they left didn't they?" Zuko said.

"4, and yes I think they did." Aang said happily, like his depression never happened.

"Great, atleast they took all the cats with them..."

"Yep!" Aang said. "Oh... oh no...."

"What?"

"Look at camera 6" Aang pointed at camera 6.

"Well damn that sucks..."

"5" Aang added.

"Shut up with all the counting why don't you?"

"No I don't think I will..."

"Well anyways this concludes another episode of The Avatar's talk show... join us next time, I'm Zuko signing off"

"I'm Aang and the show's still mine..."

Screen fades to black.

"Wait!" Aang yelled.

"What now?" Zuko said.

Screen fades to color revealing the tip of Susan.

"This is Susan, she forgot to say goodbye" Aang giggled like a little obssessed fan girl.

"Sigh.... Oh wait I still have 30 swear words don't I?" Zuko grinned.

"Oh no! hurry up and fade to black!"

Zuko takes a deep breath. "Damn Shit Crap Hell Bitch Bastard Dame And I could give a damn about the ratings of this show and Aang you better fucking remember that I get to swear 35 times per episode, I fucking love being an ass, well I gotta go fuck Ty- Mai now, yeah she ain't gonna let me... oh well anyways how many more swear words do I have left?"

"Uh... lets see 30 minus 12... 18...."

"I see... well" Zuko takes another deep breath. "Damn damn damn Brooklyn rage is something I don't have seeing as I am not fucking from fucking Brooklyn, anyways why do must of us have no fucking last name? Why do I get all of the damn problems in Avatar? Shit I gotta go take a crap but that can wait til fucking later seeing as I am gonna use all of my damn swear words per episode damn I look good with hair, and damn is this a way to end a show? with fucking swear words? and why to hell am I talking to myself? well Zuko is fucking out as soon as I say 2 more fucking damn swear words..." Takes a deep breath. "Bye"

Screen Fades to black.

"Why did I agree to give him 35 swear words?" Aang says.

"This concludes another exciting episode of Avatar: Talk Show, Episode 2" The narrator of Spongebob says.

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No offense to anyone who might be offended to any of this and

Please REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3 Part 1 Meeting of the Idiots

Merry Late Christmas Everybody! and also a very late New Years!

Guests- Ichigo from Bleach, Rukia from Bleach, Sakura from Naruto Shippuuden, Naruto from Naruto Shippuuden, and Azula since she managed to get out of the loony bin for Christmas.

Special Guest- Sasuke from Naruto Shippuuden and Snake/Hawk

Voices same as ever, and make somethin up for the guests

I own nothing!

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Zuko walks in from the left, while Aang follows him singing the 12 days of christmas Avatar style.

"On the fist day of christmas my true love gave to me...My first kiss!" Aang stopped singing to think about Katara.

"Will you come back down to reality?" Zuko said, annoyed that he has to listen to this song again.

"Huh did you say something Zuko?" Aang asked as he did come back to reality.

"Sigh, as my christmas gift to all of you guys, I am not going to swear this entire episode...even if I want to..." Zuko said all depressed like.

"On the second day of christmas my true love gave to me... Two best friends!" Aang smiled, then realized what Zuko just said. "Woah!! What did you just say?!"

"Don't make me repeat myself" Zuko is now facing depression, just for you guys.

"..Okay...On the third day of christmas my true love gave to me...3 almost the end of one elements!"

"...That doesn't even make any sense..."

"...Yes it does..."

"...No not really..."

"Don't deny the avatar's will Zuko!"

"I can and I will"

"...Fine....On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me almost 4 seasons!"

"...No we only got three seasons..."

"Stop ruining the christmas spirit Zuko!"

"...I can and I will"

"...Fine...On the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me One pyschopathic stalker!"

"...Who?"

"...This one girl with weird hair....I think her name is Mang...or something of that sort.."

"...Alright than..."

"On the sixth day of christmas my true love gave to me...Six best friends...I think..."

"Let's see...Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki, Me, the kid in the wheelchair, The duke, and the guy with the mustache... that's more than six..."

"...So?"

"..."

"On the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me... one older hot girlfriend!"

"...She isn't hot..."

"Gasp!"

"Well she isn't"

"Fine, on the 8th day of christmas my true love gave to me.... one chance to kiss Katara in a cave..!"

"You failed dismally on that one..."

"Be quiet Zuko! I am in the avatar zone!"

"...No your not..."

"....Fine, on the nineth day of christmas my true love gave to me... one super special awesome ending to Avatar the last airbender!"

"...No comment"

"Fine, on the tenth day of christmas my true love gave to me... 4 really hot and slash or cute couples!"

"What?!"

"Hey he finally raised his voice!"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did Zuko"

"No"

"Fine, on the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me...."

"...Eleven happy endings..."

"Gasp! thanks Zuko!"

"...Shut it"

"....Is your New years resolution gonna be to stop swearing so much?" Aang asked hopefully.

"..No this is just for one day... I still get 32 swear words per episode."

"Dang...On the twelveth day of christmas my true love gave to me...Take it away Zuko!"

"...No"

"..Fine one mentally unstable woman!"

"..If your talking about my sister, then...I'm perfectly alright with that"

"...Oh I was trying to get you mad enough to start swearing..."

"...Well I put a hole in that plan earlier... I took a happy pill.." Zuko smiles.

"...What? No no your not supposed to be taking Katara's happy pills...does she know that you took her happy pills?"

"...They aren't Katara's, their ... yeah their Katara's..."

"...Who's are they then?"

"....Uh I'm not ablidged to answer that question..."

"...Why not?"

"...Uh...I don't know..."

"..."

"What happened to the song?"

"It's over Zuko, the Christmas spirit is over..."

"Why?"

"...Because The avatar said it was..."

"..Oh We should probably get on with the show now..."

"But you never answered who's happy pills it was..."

"Dam-...Dang it..."

"Oooohh Zuko almost swore!"

"...Shut up"

"..No"

"Shut up before I make you shut up"

"What happened to the happy?"

"..It died, just like your Freaking face"

"..Gasp! Whine!"

"...Oh put a sock in it!" Zuko does actually put a sock in Aang's mouth.

"Now for our first guest we have Sakura and Rukia from Naruto Shippuuden and Bleach!" Zuko says.

"Hi! I'm Sakura!" Sakura smiles. Her inner Sakura is saying _"Anyone who makes a comment I don't like will die a very painful death, Cha!"_

"Hi My name is Rukia" Rukia smiles as well.

"Um I have a question for you Rukia..." Zuko says to Rukia.

"What Zuko?"

"Why are you wearing a shirt with a bunny on it?"

"...It's Chappy! And I love Rabbits!"

"...Okay...A question for Sakura..."

"Yes?"

"Why is everything about you pink?"

"...Do you have a problem with that?"

"..No"

"Good, and I don't actually know... but I like being pink" Sakura starts playing with her hair in a desperate attempt to make it look better.

"...Okay... Aang why haven't you said anything?"

Aang is currently unconcious, apparently Zuko shoved the sock too far in his mouth.

"...Dang..."

Sokka comes on screen. "Did I miss the hot girls?"

"...No" Zuko says.

"Hot?" Sakura smiles.

"..." Rukia is unsure of what to do.

"Oh man these girls aren't hot, their barely above average"

"Uh Sokka?"

"And their boobs are like what a size A?"

"Sokka?"

"And what is with their hair?"

"Sokka?!"

"An- What?"

"...I'm gonna just step aside now..." Zuko grabs Aang. "Come on Aang...We really need to get out of the way now.."

"Huh?" Sokka looks around to see Sakura putting on her gloves, and Rukia is now in her soul reaper outfit, and drawing her sword.

The screen fades to black.

"Oh no! ahh! this is worse than the moon incident!" Sokka screams.

"Well he isn't going to be in the sequel" Aang says.

"What sequel?"

"I don't know..."

"Then why say it?"

"I thought you would have an answer Zuko..."

"Well I don't"

"I know that now..." Aang sounds all depressed.

Screen goes back to normal.

"And we're back!" Aang says.

"...And we're sorry the commercials took so long.... We had to clean all the blood up..."

"..Yeah...Man I'm surprised nobody rushed in to help Sokka..."

"Why would we?"

"Are you still mad about that fight you lost...again..."

"...N-Yes"

"Thought so"

"Anyways...this didn't go as planned... Rukia and Sakura were supposed to talk about Ichigo and Naruto...but we had to eventually drag Sakura and Rukia off-screen"

"...Heh yeah..."

"So let's bring in Ichigo and Naruto"

"Hey Everybody!" Naruto screams as he jumps down from the ceiling.

"What's up guys?" Ichigo says as he walks in from the right.

"So hopefully this will go according to schedule..." Zuko murmurs.

"...Hehe Yeah right" Aang says. "Nothing ever goes according to schedule" Aang smiles.

"...Yeah..."

Ichigo and Naruto are being ignored.

"Oh yeah we have guests."

"Yes we do Zuko thanks for stating the obvious, again!" Aang says.

"...So what do you guys think of the female leads of your series?" Zuko asks.

"...Hot" Naruto says with a blush blooming on his face.

"...Annoying...draws really badly..." Ichigo states.

"Man are you lucky to have Rukia outside the studio" Aang says happily.

"...Yeah...Wait Rukia's here too?"

"Yeah she went on first..." Zuko states.

"Did she now?" Ichigo is having a dumb blonde moment.

"Yeah" Zuko says.

"Oh..." Ichigo says.

"...Anyways does anyone here actually like your female counterparts?"

"....She's a really good friend" Ichigo says.

"Yes" Naruto and Aang say almost to quickly.

"..Aang these questions are just for the guests..Why do you like her?"

"Because! Everything about her I like!" Aang and Naruto both say this at the same time.

"Okay..."

"I like ramen" Naruto says.

"Wait were you talking about Sakura or Ramen?"

"...Both"

"Wait Ramen is a girl?" Aang asks.

"....No Aang, it's just this idiots imagination"

"Who are you calling an Idiot?"

"You"

"Oh..."

"Anyways who do you like Ichigo?"

"....I Uh...Don't know"

"You do to, what type of teenager doesn't have someone they really like?"

"...Fine, God! Tatsuki I like Tatsuki"

"Huh? Doesn't she look and act like a butch lesbian?"

"...No No she doesn't"

"Okay! Now for another guest!" Aang says happily.

"What?! We agreed on only four!" Zuko yells. "Who did you invite?!"

"...Hehe" Aang smiles.

"Me Zuzu"

"No way, you didn't"

"I told you I am going to get you to swear Zuko"

"...." Zuko twitches.

"What aren't you happy to see me, Zuzu?" Azula comes in from the right.

"..No I'm not and how did you get out of the loony bin?"

"Easy, I acted like I didn't lose my mind"

"....Leave right now.." Zuko glares at Aang and at Azula.

"Hey, Why are you glaring at me?" Aang asks.

"Because you invited...it"

"...I did no such thing..." Aang smiles as innocently as he can.

"...I am going to kill you"

"Gasp!"

Zuko grabs Azula and leaves out the right and actually goes back to the loony bin and throws Azula in her room then runs back to the studio in like five minutes flat.

"Wow...Zuko....just plain wow" Aang says.

"Cool!" Naruto says. "How did you do that? Was that some type of jutsu?"

"...Yeah how did you do that?" Ichigo asks dumbfoundedly.

"...Easy...The loony bin is just down the street..." Zuko says.

Ichigo and Naruto both exchange looks and say "Oh..."

"And YOU!" Zuko points at Aang. "Oh you better run you little brat!"

"Gasp!" Aang hides behind Naruto.

"Well well what do we have here?" Sasuke walks on stage followed by his group Snake/Hawk. "A little meeting for Idiots?"

TO BE CONTINUED

"And I didn't swear once!" Zuko says.

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No offense to anyone.

Don't ask me why they can see soul reapers, because I don't know myself.

And I apolegize for the dumb blonde statement, but hey I'm a blonde and it doesn't offend me...

And I apolegize for any Tatsuki fans, or any of the characters actually.

And please, please I beg of you Review tell me what you think good or bad, I don't even care if you don't have a account I accept any reviews.

Oh also Please enjoy my crappy fanfics because this is all I got...I really suck at writing good stories.... this is why I just stick to funny things, those are easy to write :D

Woah am I just in a talkative mood today... jeez. Okay I'm done.


	4. Chapter 3 Part 2 The Return of Sasuke

Avatar The Last Air bender Talk Show 3 Part 2

Guests Sasuke and Snake/Hawk, Naruto and Ichigo.

Oh must warn, some Yaoi content... sorry it's integral to the plot, Don't like = Don't read = Don't leave reviews saying you hate yaoi.

Oh also I don't plan on doing yaoi in every chapter so if you want just wait til I come out with a chapter that doesn't have Sasuke in it :D

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"Well Well Well" Sasuke said as he entered from the right. "What's this? A meeting for Idiots?"

"Sasuke?!" Naruto yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"Zuko?" Aang said in a whisper.

"..." Zuko is currently smiling.

"Zuko, did you invite him behind my back?" Aang said.

"...Yeah during commercial, its your punishment for inviting my sister" Zuko said.

"Are you still mad about that?"

"Yes..."

"Oh, but why him?"

"Because I know he scares you"

"He does not"

"Does too"

"Not"

"Too"

"Wow this really is a meeting of idiots..." Sasuke states.

"You never answered my question Sasuke" Naruto said.

"Why would I?" Sasuke replied back.

"Because...I'll...do...this" Naruto pushed Sasuke, then jumped on him causing Sasuke to land on the floor with Naruto on top of him.

"Naruto! Get off of me!" Sasuke tried pushing Naruto off but he got pinned down instead.

"...Naruto!"

Naruto kissed him.

"Naruto! Not onscreen! I mean..."

"...But Sasuke..." Naruto gave him the puppy eyes.

"...Fine.."

They start making out.

"Hey, shouldn't we have faded to black?" Zuko asked.

"We'll still hear them, it's better to know what they are doing... so we can stop them if they get to far..." Aang said.

Meanwhile in the background of the stage.

Karin looks ready to kill Naruto, or explode, which ever one comes first, Jugo left due to the fact this place had no peace and he himself was getting ready to kill something or someone, Suigetsu looked from the make out scene in front of him, to Karin, to the make out scene, he then grabbed Karin's hand.

"Suigetsu! I have to kill that Naruto kid!" Karin said, very angrily.

"Can we have a make out session like that?" Suigetsu asked.

"Hell No!" Karin said.

"But...Karin...I know you hate me and all, I do too believe me, but it was lonely in the test tube..." Suigetsu made the best attempt of the puppy eyes, as he could.

"...No, I am saving myself for Sasuke!" Karin said.

Suigetsu continues to give her the puppy eyes.

"...Fine, just for tonight, just remember, try anything and you'll never see water again" Karin said menacingly.

"Yay!" Suigetsu hugged her, they then proceed to make out in the shadows but nobody is paying attention to them.

"Is that even possible?!" Zuko shouted, to something Naruto and Sasuke did.

"Hey Zuko why don't we ever have a moment like that?" Aang asked innocently.

"Because one We're not gay and two we have girlfriends, mine, who is better"

"Hey! what's that's supposed to mean?"

"Mine, has girly parts...your's is under-developed..." Zuko said.

"Be careful what you say Zuko, Katara is here you know.."

"I know, She's over there watching Sasuke and Naruto make out..."

"What?! Since when was she a yaoi-fan?!" Aang shouted.

"Aang, since she hit puberty..." Zuko said.

"When was that?!"

"Uh have you not been reading the script?"

"Oh...when she was 13..."

"She's still 13"

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh..."

Meanwhile, with Suigetsu and Karin, they are also still making out, they are also doing impossible things, but they are using water.

"We should cut to commercial, now" Zuko said, as their clothes started coming off.

"We should stop them, before that Zuko" Aang said.

"Um we can stop them, while we are in commercials, Aang"

"Oh, alright"

They cut to commercial.

"Holy Mother Of God!" Aang and Zuko yelled at the same time, as they forgot to say Fade to Black as well.

"Fade to Black, Fade to Black, Fade to Black!" Aang yelled.

"My Eyes! My Eyes!" Zuko yelled.

"No! Fade to Black and I swear I will kill you!" Katara yelled.

"What? You are going to kill me? With what, Water?" Aang and Zuko said.

Suigetsu stopped what he was doing. "Water?"

Karin slapped him.

"Ow! Karin, What the Hell?!"

"That was for stopping something I quite enjoyed"

"..." Suigetsu smiled.

Karin pulls Suigetsu back on top of her, and they started making out, again, and doing weird things with water.

Meanwhile with Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto is going Kyuubi.

"Woah! Zuko Should we end the episode?, We should end the episode, Let's end the episode, Whine!" Aang said.

"Shouldn't we resolve the conflict first?"

"What conflict?"

"Are you really going to make me say it?"

"Yep"

"You son of bitch"

"That's one"

Zuko punches him in the face, Aang goes flying.

"Fuck You!"

"That's-"

"Say two and I'll kill you"

Aang points, then he walks over to Zuko dejectedly.

"So, what are we going to do about this conflict? and say what conflict and I'll kill you"

"But you're the one who brought Sasuke here!"

"Okay, so what are we going to do about it now?!"

"Um, um, uh, hmmm nothing, nothing at all"

"What, What do you mean?!"

"Come with me Zuko" Aang smiled evilly.

They both walk off stage.

Amidst the noises of Suigetsu and Karin and Sasuke and Naruto, Aang's voice could be heard, "Roll the three deadly words"

Zuko gasps. "You can't mean..."

"Yes, To Be Continued"

Aang walks back on stage holding and petting Susan, Aang laughs manically in his high pitched voice. "Seriously get out of here, we will solve this 'conflict', as Zuko puts it, as soon as possible, maybe" Aang nods and walks of stage.

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I want to climb a waterfall at high speed, Why? Because it's there

Just kidding, I really can't climb the waterfall..even if I wanted too....

Oh yeah, I do like Karin, Suigetsu, Sasuke, and basically every guest... and yeah Um see ya for part 3 =^-^=


	5. Chapter 3 Part 3 The Easy Button

Chapter title- The Easy Button.

Sorry for the long wait. But as I said on my profile, I update when I finish a chapter or when I'm not being lazy.

Guests same as previous episode. Guest-starring Iroh!

Oh the good old days with the commercial of easy buttonness... I don't miss that commercial... I may have enjoyed that commercial but I don't miss it.

Enjoy my crappy fanfic. :D

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"Alright so we're backstage, while the show is still going on...?" Zuko said.

Aang smiled evilly. "Yep, now we're going to think of ideas."

"While the show is still going on?"

"Yes Zuko!"

"...I'm just saying...that the audience might turn into obsessed fan girls and boys if we don't distract them with something..."

"Like what?"

"Hey Aang?" Sokka asked, poking his head out of the linen closet.

"Sokka!!" Aang and Zuko both shouted, the both grabbed one side of Sokka.

"Um...Guys..?"

"Sokka! Can you entertain the audience for a few seconds?" Aang said.

"Um...Why?"

"Just do it" Zuko pushed him out into the stage.

These exact words were heard from the stage. "KATARA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Zuko and Aang looked at each other. "Nah, I don't wanna know..." Zuko and Aang said at the same time, both shaking their heads.

Meanwhile on stage.

Sokka was paralyzed where he stood.

Katara looked at him, meekly smiled, then went back to taking pictures of Naruto and Sasuke, which she would later sell on Ebay.

"Katara! If you don't drop that camera, and get away from there I will throw my boomerang at you!"

Katara gave him a look that said 'Oh please, I could just slice that piece of wood in half.' She then continued taking pictures.

Sokka looked shocked, he then snapped out of it when he noticed Karin and Suigetsu. "Hey, Katara...That guy over there is using water....maybe you can learn some cool water bending tricks from him..."

Katara looked up, saw the water, blushed then looked down at Naruto and Sasuke who looked like an ordinary pairing compared to Karin and Suigetsu. Katara smiled evilly. "Oh! Water!" Katara got up and went over to where Karin and Suigetsu where, she then set her stuff up and started taking pictures of them.

"Well...that plan backfired..." Sokka grumbled to himself.

Sokka sighed. "Well, since Aang and Zuko are off-screen, I guess it's time for a commercial and fade to black break."

"DON'T EVEN THINK OF FADING TO BLACK! YOU KNOW THAT AFFECTS BACKSTAGE TOO!" Aang and Auko yelled from behind the cameras.

Sokka looked down. "Well... Fine then....Well folks we're going to go to commercial now, so please just bear with us for a few minutes here alright?"

COMMERCIAL BREAK.

Meanwhile with Aang and Zuko.

"So...We left Sokka in charge, he goes to commercial...and now we're having tea?" Zuko said.

"Tea is good for the confused mind" Iroh said, with his finger raised. "Just like a confused panda in winter." Iroh took a sip of his tea.

Zuko gaped at him. "What the heck did you just say?"

Aang took a sip of his tea, then spat it out. "I don't think I like tea very much..." Aang put his tea down.

Iroh dropped his tea, and looked very shocked. "You...You don't like tea...?" Iroh picked up the teapot, and backed up slowly til he entered Zuko's dressing room.

"Oh no....Aang why did you just say that? and why is he going in my dressing room?" Zuko asked looking at the door that calmy reads 'Stay the fuck out of my dressing room, unless your Mai or _Iroh' _"Wait a minute... That's Uncle Iroh's handwriting!" Zuko got up and erased the name Iroh. Zuko then sat back down and was fuming.

"Well...We came...here to....calmly discuss...what our options are.." Zuko said, voice threatening to raise to a loud tone.

Aang nodded knowledgebly. "Well We have one option..." Aang pulled out a small red button out of his pocket.

"And what is this?" Zuko asked, looking at the thing with disgust and interest.

"This!" Aang said dramatically. "Is the Easy Button!" Aang looked at Zuko with such enthusiasm that he didn't have five seconds ago. "DUN DUN DUN!" Aang played his imaginary drum set.

Zuko just stared at Aang. "You, have been watching television again haven't you?"

Aang grinned. "Yes! Yes I have indeed!" He nodded enthusiastically. "But that's not the point! The point is we have the easy button to make them stop making out!"

"...I see...But I think I have a better idea..." Zuko stood up, and grabbed Aang. Aang was roughly pushed to his feet.

Aang quickly pocketed his easy button, and followed Zuko on-stage.

"Sokka! Your fired!" Zuko grabbed the back of Sokka's shirt, and threw him backstage.

"But I WASN'T getting paid!" Sokka shouted as he hit the closed closet door.

"End of Commercial break everybody" Zuko said as he made his way over to the make out sessions.

Aang nervously stood in front of Zuko, stopping Zuko from continuing. "Um...Zuko? Buddy? We haven't decided anything yet..." Aang twiddled his fingers.

Zuko nodded his head. "Alright, that's it, we're close enough." Zuko said, he grinned.

"Wait, Zuko? What are you going to do without the easy button?" Aang said, nervously.

"Oh you'll see" He smiled evilly, as he opened his palm, and realised some fire from it.

"Couldn't we just use the easy button?" Aang asked hopefully.

"Screw the easy button, I have fire" Zuko said.

"You stole that from YuGiOh the Abridged Series, and made it your own didn't you?" Aang asked.

"..No What makes you think that?"

"Um well"

"Shut up Aang!"

"...But we could lose everything..."

"I said Shut up!"

"Fine..."

Zuko approached the 4 people, who are still making out. with an evil smile on his face.

Aang suddenly appears in Zuko's face, roughly grabbing him by the shoulders, and roughly shaking him. "Nooooooo! You mustn't do this thing!" His voice is no longer high pitched or squeaky.

"Let go of me Aang, this is the only way"

"NO! There's got to be another way!"

"There isn't another way! The future depends on me pressing this button!"

Momentarily back in character, Aang says. "Wait"

Zuko says completely calm. "What?"

"Wasn't I going to press the easy button?"

"I see. You have a point. How were you planning on pressing this button of yours?"

"Oh! Well first I was going to take it out of my pocket, like so!" He takes it out of his pocket. "And then-Hey! Why the fuck did you do that? Why did you take my damn easy button?"

"Wait" Zuko says.

"What?" Aang says completely calm.

"Did you just swear?"

"Are you going to press that easy button?"

"Why yes yes I am"

"Well there you go, wait I wanted to press it!"

Zuko smiles evilly. "Too. Damn. Bad." He pushed Aang a dozen feet away.

"That's three times!" Aang yells as he flys away. "The avatar is blasting off again!" He lands against a wall.

Zuko holds his hand up high above his head, index finger pointed to the sky. "And Now!" He holds the easy button out in front of him with his other hand. "With this button!" He slowly brings his hand down. "Which I shall press!" His hand slowly descends upon the button. "I will press the button!" His hand continues slowly to make its way to the button.

At the same time Aang was screaming in slow motion. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOK

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD....O...O...O Yeah I'm done...O"

Meanwhile Zuko's finger was about an inch above the button. "I will now press the button to save the world from yaoi obsessed fangirls." His finger was about five centimeters above the button.

Aang suddenly stood up. "Not while I'm around. Buddy" He said in a gruff voice. "To quote someone whose not quite as cool as us" He waved his head around a bit. "AIR BENDING SLICE!" He said in a dramatic voice.

_"Hey I resent that!" _Came Sokka's voice from off screen, he then succeeded in saving Katara from the yaoi.

"Ah God Dammit!" Came Zuko's voice, he was glaring at his finger, who moments ago found the empty space where the easy button once was.

"That's s-six! Or seven.... Who's counting really?" Aang said in his usual high-pitched voice.

He turned to yell at Aang, in a squeaky voice. "Why the hell did you blow away the easy button?!"

Aang donned a gruff western style voice for his response. "Because... That button's not big enough for the two of us" Aang spat on the ground. He donned his regular voice. "Besides! I wanted to be the one to push it!"

Zuko slowly advanced on him. "Well! **Aang **there's a slight problem with your little plan."

"Yeah?" Aang said nervously.

"Yeah!"

"And...What is it?"

Zuko breathed heavily in for a minute, he then proceeded to yell in Aang's face. "THE GODDAMN BUTTON ISN'T HERE FOR **ANYONE**TO PRESS NOW!" Zuko inhaled deeply.

Aang blinked. "That's seven times...?"

Zuko's eye twitched, he turned his head up as fire in the shape of a mushroom cloud erupted from his face. "GGGGGGRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU?! THE GODDAMN-"

"That's...."

Zuko glared.

"Okay, I'll shut up"

"Good" He inhaled. "THE. GOD. DAMN. BUT. TON. IS. N'T. HERE. ANY. MORE. NO. BO. DY. CAN. PRESS. IT. NOW!!!"

Aang blinked a few times. "I see..." Aang turned and walked away.

"Where the hell are you going?!" Zuko yelled.

"To get my back up easy button, her name is Susan." He smiled evilly and walked off screen.

Zuko took a deep breath. "YOU MEAN THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!? I YELLED FOR SO LONG FOR NOTHING!?"

"Pretty much" Aang yelled from off-screen. "Now where did I leave Susan? It couldn't have been in bed, that was a couple of nights ago...Oh we're still on the air...Oh well We can edit that out later, oh no we can't this is a live broadcast...OOOOOOHHHH SUSAN COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

Zuko blinked. "Alright then..." Zuko looked around. "I'm tired of yelling....so I'm just going to" He sighed. "We're gonna have another short commercial break...see ya soon."

COMMERCIAL BREAK

There was a loud thud, and Zuko turned to see Aang back on-screen with a large gun and a cigar in his mouth, his outfit was different, he was wearing some sort of Rambo-esq outfit.

Aang cocked the gun. "ALRIGHT, NOBODY MOVE AND NOBODY GETS HURT!" Aang pointed the gun in the general vicinity of the make out sessions.

Everyone froze, literally. They all stopped moving where they stood or lay depending on who they were. They all slowly turned their heads to face Aang.

Aang fired a warning shot into the air, and then waved his gun around menacingly. "I SAID NOBODY MOVE!" Aang breathed heavily.

Zuko blinked slowly. "Aang...?"

"I SAID NOBODY MOVE!" Aang pointed the gun at Zuko.

Zuko's eyes widened in shock. "Aang, we're friends...don't do this thing..."

Meanwhile, with Aang's attention drawn away, Naruto managed to start kissing Sasuke again.

Sasuke pushed Naruto off of him. "Naruto, it's been real" Sasuke stood up and pulled his shirt back up.

"But Sasuke...When will I ever see you again?" Naruto asked, still on the ground.

Sasuke grinned. "Never"

Aang's head turned to see Sasuke and Naruto in a different position then they once were. "FINALLY! YOU PEOPLE ARE DONE! NOW GET THE HELL OFF MY SHOW!" Aang roared.

Zuko looked over to see Suigetsu and Karin slowly stand, Zuko quickly looked down as he realized they both weren't wearing any clothes.

"AND YOU TWO!" Aang pointed his finger at Suigetsu and Karin. "TAKE YOUR NUDITY, YOUR WATER, YOUR CLOTHES, AND YOURSELVES SOMEWHERE NOT HERE!"

"And where would you like us to continue this?" Suigetsu asked.

"JUST FOLLOW YOUR LEADER!" Aang pointed his finger at Sasuke, who hasn't moved from his standing position.

"Alright! Jeez...Pushy..." Suigetsu grabbed his clothes and went behind Sasuke to put them back on.

Karin's eyes popped out of her head. "SUIGETSU! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SASUKE!"

Karin stomped over to Suigetsu and pulled him by the hair.

"Ow!"

Jugo, who everybody seemed to forget was there, started mumbling to himself. **"Kill...The next person to make a sound I'm gonna kill... I hope it's a girl..."**

Nobody seemed to take notice of this.

"Suigetsu! You Asshole! You don't start putting on clothes behind Sasuke!"

**"Kill... I'll kill a boy..."**

"Karin! Don't pull my hair! It's sensitive enough as it is!"

**"Yeah...I'll kill a girl..."**

"Suigetsu I don't care about your hair! I care about Sasuke!"

**"No...I'll kill a boy next..."**

"Fine! I'm almost sorry I started kissing you!" Suigetsu angrily yelled back.

**"No...Girl"**

"Almost?!"

**"Boy"**

"Yeah Almost! What are you going to do about it!"

**"Girl"**

"Nothing at all!" Karin walked away from Suigetsu.

Suigetsu watched her walk off stage.

"Wow, they stop making out but then they start fighting..." Zuko mumbled to himself.

Suigetsu turned around and glared at him.

Zuko shrugged. "Just saying." Zuko sat down out of view from Aang.

**"Definately boy"**

"HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO GET OFF MY SHOW!" Aang yelled.

Jugo charged at Aang.

"HOLY BEEP ON A BEEPING SANDWICH!" Aang ran away from Jugo. "Zuko help me!" He said in his normal voice.

"No, I don't think I will" Zuko said.

"What?! Why not?!" Aang asked, still running away from Jugo.

"Because...You threatened to shoot me." Zuko put his hands behind his head.

"What?! Why If I make it out of this thing alive I swear to Go-Oof!" Aang landed on the floor.

Jugo had tripped him.

Sasuke sighed. "Jugo, Control yourself."

Jugo looked up at the sound of Sasuke's voice, then looked down to see Aang whimpering and quivering in fear.

Jugo blinked. "Yes sir.." Jugo went back to normal, he then walked off screen to join Karin.

Suigetsu then walked off screen to go talk to Karin.

Sasuke sighed, then turned to leave. "So..Are we allowed to come back?"

Aang looked at him. "Not. When. Naruto. Is. Here." Aang said in a low tone.

"Alright, agreed." Sasuke walked off screen.

Naruto was looking at the floor. "So not even in a fanfic, Sasuke isn't mine..." Naruto got up and left.

Aang sighed, then started looking for Susan.

Zuko got into a more comfortable position.

"Susan, there you are!" Aang hugged his gun. "You did a lovely job" He started speaking in a baby like tone. "Oh yes you did, whose my girl? That's you! Yes you!" Aang started giggling to himself.

Zuko looked at Aang, like he was going to throw up.

"Hey there Susan you the girl I love, oh yes it's true..." Aang started to sing.

Zuko looked horrified. "...Aang do you even realize you are still on the air?"

Aang looked around, and spotted Zuko. "..." He looked around and spotted the cameramen, Aang waved at them, they waved back. "Oh...I suppose I am..." Aang looked back at Zuko. "Well that was embarrassing."

"And creepy...mainly creepy to me...please promise me you won't ever sing again..."

"I promise Zuko..."

"Good, now I expect an apology"

"For what?"

"Aiming. the. gun. at. me!"

"I did no such thing, Susan is not meant for violence towards frenemies"

"Frenemies?"

"You know, frenemies... Friends slash enemies...together they form frenemi-"

"I get it"

"Do you Zuko? Do you?"

"Do you want to die?" Zuko stood up and lit his hand on fire.

"Wahh! Susan protect me!" Aang threw Susan at Zuko, not realizing that Susan is flammable, in a way.

Susan touched the flames, she the went through the flames and hit Zuko's hand.

"Ow!"

She landed to the floor.

In the meantime, Aang had been shouting "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" ever since Susan left his hands, he dive bombed after Susan, he managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

Zuko looked at his hand, then at Susan, then at Aang, all with a horrified look on his face. "You fucking moron! You broke my fucking hand! If you cause me to break my new resolution I'll fucking kill you!"

"Um...Do you realize you just swore three more times..." Aang said in a soft whisper.

Zuko breathed in heavily.

"Oh no..." Aang said.

"GO TO FUCKING HELL YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU MOTHERFUCKING WHORE!" Zuko stormed off screen.

"Do I even have a mom?"

Zuko walked back on screen. "...I apologize..."

"I do too..." Aang smiled meekly.

Zuko sighed. "I have a migraine.."

"To make the apology more sufficient...we should hug..."

"And spark the yaoi fangirls even more? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I don't even know how many times you've sworn anymore..."

"Good...Now let's end the show..."

"Do you want to? Or should I?"

"How about at the same time..."

"Oh! That's good Zuko!"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "I'm Zuko"

"And I'm Aang!"

"And that's the end of this week's show!"

"Join us next time, when we discuss Theme Songs!" Aang said, throwing his arm around Zuko.

"Wait! Theme songs?! Aang what did I tell you about deciding things like that on you own!"

Aang smiled. "Uhhhh....Never brush you teeth?"

Zuko sighed. "I don't even care at the moment! I have to go and get my uncle out of my room!" Zuko walked off screen.

"Oh Susan...It's finally our time now..." Aang said, fondling his gun.

"You are still on the air, you fucking moron!!" Zuko shouted. "What the-? Uncle?! Open the goddamn door!"

Aang looked around. "End show, Fade to black" Aang walked off screen, fondling Susan.

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Yes, Aang is singing a parodied version of Hey there Delilah... And I hate that song, but yet I know the lyrics to it... I blame my friends...

And yes "It's finally our time now" Is part of a song, I just don't now which one...

Jugo is saying stuff in bold, don't question it, it makes him feel important. :D

The little Review Button Loves you. Review and I'll give you a cookie.


	6. Theme Songs and Censorship

I have nothing against emos. My best friend is an emo. :) And I'm expecting reviews here people, for actually updating, and making a super long chapter for all y'all. I'll give you a virtual cookie if you do.

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Aang and Zuko walked on stage from the same side, both quietly bickering to each other.

"No, we shouldn't get rid of that!" Zuko whispered.

"And why shouldn't we?" Aang whispered back.

"Because, we have no self control!" Zuko whispered back.

"Uh...guys, your kinda on the air..." Sokka yelled from off screen.

Zuko and Aang looked at each other, then both turned to the screen.

"Hi, Zuko here" Zuko waved.

"That is so lame..." Aang said. "Aang in the house!" Aang raised both fists in the air.

"And that isn't...?" Zuko said.

Aang glared.

Zuko stared him down.

"Darn it, Zuko I hate it when you do that!" Aang said.

"Sure you do." Zuko said.

"Just continue with the next line, Zuzu!" Aang said.

Zuko glared. "Fine, I'll continue with the next line." Zuko smiled. "Aang sleeps with a night light"

Aang's eyes widened. "I told you that, in strict confidence!"

Zuko smiled even more. "And with a blankie"

"Zuko, how could you!"

"How could you say that nickname!"

"Just continue with the next line!"

"Fine!" Zuko looked down. "Umm...I forgot..." He walked off stage and got the script, he walked back on stage. "Ah...How could I forget?"

"Say it!"

"Due to the last show..." He paused to look at the script. "We now have to ask all guests that they tell us their love interests so things like that don't happen again."

"Right, so who are our guests?" Aang said.

Zuko looked up. "You forgot to invite them?!"

"I thought you sent them!"

"..." Zuko looked down. "I did..."

"Then why are you yelling at me?!"

"Why did you tell the guests last episode that we would discuss theme songs?!"

"I don't know! I'm just a twelve year old kid!"

"That swears!"

"I do not!"

While Aang and Zuko continue to fight, Sokka and Katara walk on stage.

"I'm sorry guys, they have been like this ever since, Zuko was caught kissing me" Katara said.

Sokka, Zuko and Aang looked at her.

"That did not happen!" Zuko, Aang and Sokka said.

"Hey! A girl can dream can't they?!"

"No!" Zuko and Sokka yelled.

Katara pouted.

Aang looked sad. "So, I'm not good enough for you?"

"You are! It's just, that I have dream sex about Zuko!" Katara said.

Aang looked shocked.

"...Heh, who doesn't have dream sex about me?" Zuko said.

"Um...All the guys?" Sokka and Aang said.

"Yeah, some guys do"

"Like who, Zuko?"

"Dunno, just know they do."

"I see..." Sokka looked down.

"Who do you guys have dream sex about?" Katara asked.

"Toph" Aang said.

"Ty Lee" Sokka said.

"At least I stay loyal to Mai" Zuko said.

They all looked at him.

"Fine, Ty Lee."

"We should so have a three some!" Sokka said.

Zuko's eyes went wide. "Hell to the no!"

"That's one"

Zuko glared at Aang.

Aang slipped behind Sokka. "He said it!"

"No he didn't. I recognize that girly high pitched voice anywhere!" Zuko said.

After they stopped having a discussion on dream sex.

"What is the real reason you guys started fighting?" Sokka asked.

"...Well it all started last night, at dinner..." Aang began.

**Begin Flashback.**

"..." Aang stared at Zuko.

Zuko was busy glaring at Aang, and at his room, which now contained his uncle and a 'lady friend' and them discussing 'the joys of life' on his bed.

"Zuko?...You alright buddy?"

Zuko looked at Aang. "And you people wonder why I'm emo..."

"What's emo?"

Zuko stared at him. "Go watch the emo song...it's on bendertube"

"We have a bendertube?"

"We do in this show"

"Ohhh...Alright then!" Aang got up and brought the laptop from his room into the eating quarters.

Aang looked at the laptop. Then looked at Zuko, then back at the laptop.

"Do you need help with the computer?"

"He's a laptop."

"Again with naming inanimate objects..."

Aang gasped and covered the laptop's "ears." "Zuko! Do NOT insult Fredrich! He is highly sensitive!"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just give me Fred." Zuko reached to take the laptop.

Aang pulled the laptop away.

"What now?"

"His name is Fredrich, not Fred, I don't know who this Fred person is!"

Zuko sighed. "Fine, Fred**rich**."

"That's better." Aang gave Zuko the laptop.

Zuko turned it on, and then a few seconds later turned bendertube on.

After five minutes. Aang blinked, and Zuko had his arms folded behind his head.

Zuko was looking at Aang. "So...?"

"I think you need some serious help..."

"I don't do most of those things...you watched the extended version."

"There was a shorter version?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't I watch that?"

"Because it got taken down last monday."

"Why?"

"Stupid people, stupid internet, and I honestly don't know..."

"I see...Wait what are you doing with Bob?"

"I thought his name was Fredrich?"

"It is...Bob is ... uh...I'm sorry Fredrich" Aang hanged his head in shame. (See spongebob squarepants, medieval times for help)

Zuko and Aang looked confused.

"What was that voice and where was it coming from?"

"I don't know..." Aang hid behind Zuko.

"What are you doing?" Zuko asked.

"Hiding..."

"Why?"

"I'm scared..."

"..." Zuko typed something onto the laptop.

"Watcha doin?"

"None of your dang business."

"That makes it my business." Aang grabbed the laptop, but tripped and the laptop went flying through the window and out to its death, 3 floors below.

Aang looked shocked.

Aang blinked.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zuko put in some headphones.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Didn't you have him for like ten years? And only use him twice?"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOO WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Are you going to keep talking like that or not?"

"...I'll stop..."

"Good"

"I blame you."

"For what?"

"Killing Fredrich."

"What?"

"You heard me"

"Aang, you tripped."

"That's because you tripped me."

"I did not!"

"You did too."

Aang got up and left.

Zuko twitched.

**End Flashback.**

Sokka and Katara were staring at each other.

Sokka was fighting the urge to laugh.

"We don't have an eating quarters on the third floor. Heck we don't even have a third floor."

"We barely have a second floor."

Sokka started laughing out loud.

"Then where were we?" Zuko asked.

"You don't even know?" Katara asked.

"No..." Zuko and Aang said at the same time.

"Wait...I don't even have a laptop..." Aang said.

"We don't have a bendertube either..." Zuko said.

"What's an emo?" Sokka asked.

Zuko sighed. "Want me to show you on bendertube?"

"I thought you said that didn't exist?" Sokka asked, skeptically.

Zuko grinned.

"He's smiling!" Aang shouted. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Aang hid behind Katara.

Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Well, Zuko does bendertube exist or not?" Sokka asked.

"Of course it doesn't!" Zuko said. He leaned in closer to the tv, and whispered. "Bendertube does exist, but in your world it's called yuatuba."

"No...I'm pretty sure it's called youtube." Sokka said.

"I'm pretty sure your an ass but who cares." Zuko countered.

Aang gasped and quickly said. "that'stwo"

"What did you say?" Zuko asked, causing fire to erupt from his hand.

"Nothing! It was Fredrich! Oh Wait! He's dead!" Aang shouted. "You laptop murderer!"

"For the last fucking time, I did not murder your laptop! But the next fucking time you say that I killed your laptop, I'll make sure you never have another laptop ever the fuck again!"

"Fine, You killed Fredrich! And that was 5 times!"

"Argh! That's it! Aang you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to hell!" Zuko shot fire at Aang.

"Holy crap!" Aang dodged it, but unfortunatly the cameraman wasn't so lucky. "Look what you did! You hurt the cameraman!"

"Katara can get the damn cameraman!"

"That's-"

"Don't even say it."

"...COUGH7COUGH..." Aang cleared his throat.

Zuko smiled. "And that's one for you..."

"What do you mean?"

"Can I get an instant reply?"

**REWIND**

"Holy Crap!"

**PAUSE**

"When did we have that installed?" Aang asked.

"Since you swore for the first time." Zuko smirked. "Now can we have it in slow motion?"

**SLOW MOTION**

"HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

**PAUSE**

"That wasn't me.. and even if it was me, you, Zuko, still swear more!" Aang said.

"At least I came to terms with my problem.." Zuko was still smirking.

"Well....You...still have...a picture of your mother in your dresser!" Aang shouted in rebuttal.

Zuko frowned, then went to sulk in the corner.

Katara and Sokka gasped. "Aang! That was horrible!"

Aang looked around. "Oh...Oops..."

Katara slapped Aang. "Don't talk about mothers, seeing as ours is dead, you never had one, and Zuko's is missing!" Katara walked off stage.

Sokka looked at Aang disapprovingly.

"Sokka...?"

"You are on your own **buddy**" Sokka walked off stage, tsking.

"COMMERCIAL! FADE TO BLACK!"

**Commercial.**

**Fade to Black.**

**Return to Scene.**

"So what's the theme for this episode?" Sokka asked.

Zuko sitting in the middle of the room, with Sokka, Katara, and Aang.

"Zuko? Will you please talk?" Aang asked.

Zuko glared at him, then looked at Sokka. "Will you please tell Aang that he can find another firebending teacher?"

Aang, Katara, and Sokka gasped.

Zuko shrugged.

"Zuko you can't quit you're the only one who is willing to put up with me!" Aang shouted.

"...Sokka please tell Aang that I just can't deal with Aang anymore..."

Aang started looking sad.

"You two need some quality time, go backstage and talk this out." Katara said.

"Hell to the No, Katara." Zuko said.

Katara glared, which sent the both of them backstage, and Sokka to slowly back away from his younger sister.

**Backstage.**

"..."

"..."

"...Zuko?"

Zuko glared.

"I'm sorry. At least you know who your mother was."

Zuko frowned. "Was?"

"Uh-oh"

"Was? She is still alive dammit!" Zuko got up.

"Zuko what're you doing?"

"Going to find my "dead" mother!" Zuko left the building.

Aang looked sad, again.

**Onstage.**

Katara was entertaining the crowd with water tricks.

Sokka was staring at her disapprovingly.

Aang walked on stage looking quite nervous.

Katara stopped her water trick and walked over to Aang. "So?"

"So? So? Zuko left me!" Aang started to cry. "Wahhh!!!!"

Katara hugged Aang.

Sokka was staring at the two.

"NowIHaveToFindANewPartner!" Aang screamed into Katara's chest.

"What did you say Aang?" Katara asked.

"I said I have to find a new partner."

"I think you might want to rephrase that little buddy..."

"Why?"

"It makes you sound gay."

"Oh...Now I have to find a new firebending teacher."

"Hmm, No ya don't." Sokka said.

"Why don't I have to?"

"Because we're gonna use your crazy idea for theme songs to get him back."

"How do you know he's watching tv?" Katara asked, skeptically.

"Everyone watches tv!" Sokka shouted.

"Can't argue with that logic." Aang said.

"So what song can you think of to get him back?" Sokka asked.

"Well....I know for a fact that he loves t.A.T.u!" Aang said, grinning.

"Who's t.A.T.u.?" Sokka and Katara asked.

Aang looked shocked. "You did not just say that?!"

"Well we did." Sokka said.

Aang smiled and left the stage.

Sokka and Katara looked at each other.

_The next thing everyone hears is Gomensai by t.A.T.u._

"Yep, he is making it seem like they are gay..." Sokka said.

Katara giggled. "Hot." And left the stage.

Zuko stepped onto the stage, rolling his eyes.

"Zuko you're back!" Sokka said.

"Yep. Decided I have no clue where to look and I shouldn't be looking for her at 6 in the afternoon." Zuko sighed and sat down.

_The next thing everybody hears is Show Me Love by t.A.T.u._

"OOPS!!!" Aang shouted.

"Change the damn song!" Zuko shouted.

"Why don't you love me?!" Aang shouted back. "Oh...not like that!"

Zuko rolled his eyes.

Aang came back onstage.

"We are not having t.A.T.u as our themesong." Zuko said.

"I know that and _our_ themesong?"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Yes, for now, _our_ themesong, until I set off and go look for my mother."

"And when will that be?"

"After the talk show ends."

"Why would it end?"

Zuko shrugged. "I dunno, no show lasts forever. Just look at our animation, over after three seasons."

""It ended?" Aang asked.

"Yes. It did." Sokka said.

_Null and Void by t.A.T.u. is now playing._

"What the hell, did you put my c.d. in there?" Zuko asked.

"Maybe."

"Did you put it on shuffle, because that is not number three."

"Maybe."

Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Ya know I'm not even sure we can have a theme song." Sokka said.

"What do you mean?" Aang asked.

"Well it's in the contract you signed." Sokka sighed. "You didn't read the contract, did you Aang?"

"I read the contract...."

"No you didn't" Zuko said.

"I didn't." Aang hung his head in shame.

"Did you read the contract Zuko?"

".... No."

"Hmmhmm you two are not right for this job."

"That makes us perfect for this job!" Aang shouted in hyperness.

"Hey, wait where did Katara go?" Zuko's eyes widened. "And why can't I hear my c.d. playing?"

"Oh Katara, not again..." Sokka said.

Zuko ran off stage to where the c.d was.

"I'm gonna pick a c.d. and I don't give a crap about the contract." Aang said.

"That's a violation of the contract." Sokka said.

"What is?"

"Swearing."

"But Zuko's been swearing since episode 1!"

"He didn't sign that part of the contract."

"So he did read the contract." Aang said. "That traitor!"

"I only read what I cared to read... and swearing is something I deeply care about." Zuko said, as he walked back on stage, dragging Katara and Fredrich II, with him.

"Katara? What are you doing with Fredrich II?" Aang asked.

"Watching t.A.T.u. on Bendertube." Katara answered.

"Enough questions!" Zuko shoved the laptop away from Katara. "Where is my damn c.d.?!"

Katara looked shocked. "It's in the laptop..."

Aang and Zuko divebombed for the laptop.

"You are not killing Fredrich II!"

"I just want my c.d.!"

Five seconds later and the laptop and the c.d. both blew up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Aang shouted.

"My c.d.!"

Zuko glared at Aang.

Aang glared at Katara.

Katara was staring at Aang wondering why he was glaring at her.

Toph came out on stage, claiming to hear the explosion, but something about the smile on her face made everyone turn their glares to her, which of course she couldn't see.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Toph asked, as innocently as she could.

"I think **you** know" Zuko said.

Aang glared and twitched. "Wait, monks aren't supposed to give in to anger..."

"That's jedi Aang." Katara said.

"Also monks...." Aang said.

Toph shrugged and sat down next to Sokka who, feeling forgotten, decided to take a nap.

"Ya know what I think would be a good theme song" Toph said.

"Nobody cares what **you **think Toph." Zuko said.

"What? It's not like I caused the laptop and c.d. to explode." Toph said.

"Um, now that I look at it, it does look like someone earthbended..." Aang said.

Aang sank to his knees and said, "Fredrich II was so young...why'd you do it Toph?"

Toph shrugged. "You two were distracted from the plot of the episode... you needed to snap out of it..." Toph smiled. "And the laptop was a girl not a boy."

Aang looked up. "What?!"

Zuko stifled a laugh.

Aang glared. "What's so funny?"

"Well, you getting worked up over nothing might have something to do with it."

Aang continued to glare. "I've never had an inanimate object that was a girl before. Of course I'm going to get worked up!"

"Well, One what about Susan and two you **used** to have an inanimate object that was a girl." Zuko said.

"Who's Susan? and that is true...my only girl laptop is dead..."

A shot was heard.

Aang widened his eyes. "Oh! That Susan!"

Zuko sighed and went to find laptop number 3, or, you guessed it, Bob.

Katara grabbed Sokka and said that Aang could find them at a Water Park.

Aang was whimpering, crying, like a little baby. "I'm All Alone!!!!"

Aang dodged another bullet.

"I'm sorry Susan! You know that I would never forget you! It was just because I found out that my second laptop was a girl!" Aang dodged a bullet, about an inch from where his head was. "Wahh!!!!"

Zuko came back on screen with susan, muzzled. "I believe Susan has a special case of jealousy." Zuko said matter-of-factly.

Aang was smiling. "Zuko you came back for me!" Aang ran over to Zuko and tried to hug him.

Before Aang could get near him, Zuko moved his hand to the muzzle.

"You wouldn't" Aang said, stopping just in front of Zuko.

"If you continue to try to hug me, I will be glad to." Zuko said, completely serious.

Aang started to tear up. "You hate me!"

"..."

"I need a hug! Where is my Susan?!" Aang started to cry. "Wahh!"

Zuko gave Susan over to Aang.

Aang took the gun.

_"Aang, you've some 'xplain'n to do." _Susan said.

"Did 'Susan' just talk?" Zuko asked.

"Well of course Susan can talk, Zuko, gawd where have you been?"

_"Aang."_

"Oh, sorry my precious. I wasn't thinking, you know I can be dumb."

_"I thought I told you, you couldn't love any inanimate objects other than me... it's bad enough I have to share your heart with that Katara thing."_

"Thing?!!!" Katara asked extremely angrily...

_"Yes, thing." _Susan said, sounding quite please with herself.

Zuko donned a look of realization. "Susan?"

_"What is it Zuz- Um.... Zuko?"_

Zuko smirked. "Aang? How long has Susan been talking?"

"Umm... Right after you took your sister back to the loony bin. Why?"

"Are you really that stupid?" Zuko rolled his eyes. "Did you happen to show my sister your gun?"

"Umm... That was the only way she would come... so yeah... I did..."

"Again, Are you really that f***ing stu- since when did we have a sensor? Anyways... where was I?" Zuko took out the script and flipped it to the page they were on. "Is this episode really this long?" He mumbled to himself.

"Since when did we have a script?" Aang asked.

"Aang, you are stupid... We've been making scripts since episode one..." Sokka said.

"Ah! Again, Are you really that f***ing stupid?" Zuko smiled, a puppy died. "I found where I was."

Aang and Sokka looked at each other.

"That-" Sokka said.

"Smile-" Aang said.

"Made-" Sokka said.

"A-" Aang said.

"Puppy-" Sokka said.

"Die." Aang said.

Zuko raised an eyebrow. "Dudes... that was creepy... and now I think I have to end this so Aang, read this on the script so we can end the episode... before I kill another puppy..."

Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Toph looked shocked. "You heartless bas tard!" They all shouted.

"Why was that seperated?" Sokka asked.

"Typo?" Aang asked.

"Stupid idiot, there are no typos in quotation marks..." Toph said.

"Maybe it has something to do with the sensor?" Zuko asked.

They all nodded. "Yeah, that'll do it."

"Who's in agreement that the sensor has to go?" Zuko asked.

They all nodded and raised their hand.

"After you read this on the script, Aang, we'll destroy the sensor." Zuko said.

"Kay!" Aang said in his high pitched voice.

Aang took a deep breath.

"Wait!" Zuko shouted.

"What?!!" Aang shouted back.

Zuko nodded to the others. They all took out earmuffs. And placed them in their ears.

"Continue." Zuko said, nodding.

Aang glared. Then took a deep breath. "Avatar the Last Airbender Talk Show!" (Said in the styles of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Phineas and Ferb.)

"Wouldn't that be copyrighted? Sokka asked. After they took off their earmuffs.

"No! We changed the lyrics!" Aang said.

"I don't f***ing care right now, let's get that f***ing censor out of f***ing here!" Zuko shouted, raising his voice even more after every censored swear word.

"I'm Aang..." Aang said in a small voice, and with a scared expression.

"I'm Sokka, Co-producer-!" Zuko firebended him off stage.

"You are not f***ing co-producer! You work on the f***ing catchy sayings and that's it!" Zuko shouted after him.

"I'm Katara, I work on keeping the peace-" Zuko firebended her off stage.

"You?! You keep the f***ing peace?! You?! Who pms's every other episode?!" Zuko shouted after her.

He shot another fire explosion after her. "And that's for the f***ing Zutara pairing!"

"I'm Toph, and I know my way out." She said to Zuko.

Zuko looked shocked. "I wasn't going to firebend at you.. I learned my lesson the last time." Zuko said in a small whisper.

_"I'm Azu- I mean Susan." _Susan said.

"Oh Susan, nobody must know of our forbidden love." Aang said, as he cuddled with Susan.

"Everybody knows of your strange love." Zuko said.

"Just say your line so we can end this, Zuko!" Aang said.

"Fine," He took a deep breath. "I'm F***ing Zuko, and I'm f***ing out of here, I have to kill a f***ing censor problem.. and the person who installed it..." Zuko smiled evilly. 10 puppies died, and one small boy cried, while a crazy sister, stuck in the loony bin, impersonating susan, laughed shouting that Avatar the talk show will rue the day.

"Cut, scene, End, Fade to Black, See ya next time, and maybe Zuko will be happier." Aang said, smiling and winking. "Too bad you can't see me and Susan." He laughed.


End file.
